Sunday, May 4, 2008
I'M REAL HAPPY TODAY. :D
i dont know why. beats me. maybe i stayed at home and rot for 2 days or i should say didn meet up with anyone for this 2 days and i feel damn good about it because it's a big accomplishment? lol, hilarious. i'm been staring at my laptop for the past 3 and a half hour, looking at my undone food and nutrition coursework and until now, it still UNDONE. lol. and i didn do much amendments to it. i ended up going to youtube and watch some crappy videos in there. man, online entertainment always divert my attention. and now, it 7 pm and i've yet to finish even half of my c/w. goodness me. and i'm right here, BLOGGING. -.- haha.
and finally, dinosaur years later. i made a new pair of spectacles. haha. ohwell, it's black in colour, full frame and the same of my lens are ... well... pretty weird i suppose. my mother thinks it's fashionable? HAH. oh well, whatsoever. i look nerdy in whatever specs i wear. *grins*
and well, somethings have been bothering me so much lately. thought about it last night, and seriously, i spent a whole night reflecting. and well, i'm going to type whatever i thought here.
i'm going face it, enjoy what i have now. stay positive and look on the bright side of my life. i dont wanna broad over it everyday. it's not going to change either. like my health is going back to normal if i cry or go super distracted all the time and bothers me like crazy. i'm going back to who i was last time. no more sadness, no more distractions, no more emo-ing ( pretty dumb actually) , no more of my stupid fucking attitudes to anyone who doesn deserve it. i'm satisfied with my life now ( except with my results, haha. ) , family problems aside, i'm choosing to ignore whoever or whatever obstacles that me making me upset. i cant stand myself being this way all the time, everytime, because something stands in my way. i go so depressed that the world's ending and i go back to square one. i love fun, i love being crazy and suddenly, i do feel i'm losing all these fun i have in myself. i love changes, but i do not like this change in myself. i becoming a different me lately. i'm becoming way too sensitive, way too bad-tempered. and i didn realise until i didn reflections last night. and i dont like that at all. and i'm trying to change back, or maybe into a better person.
and sometimes, i do want to express out how thankful i am towards the people around me. i have great friends, great sisters, a great girlfriend, great boy-friends around me who guides me, understands me, helps me and even go crazy and stupid with me. not everyone has great people around them like i do. and sometimes, i do feel i'm taking them for granted due to some stupid negative thinkings i have at times. and i dont express it out. sometimes, i do need some closure. but maybe i cant find a right person. or maybe there is a right person, but not the right time. or aint the right situation.
and one quote knocked myself deeply from junhe's blog post:
the fact that the world is unfair, makes life meaningless.
yes, i do agree, the world is unfair, but it doesn make life meaningless. i still have what most important in my life. friends, family and my own target, my goal, i still what whats with or in me. i believe, god bring me here for a reason. i have a reason i live in this world. probably, i dont know what is it yet. there's always ups and downs in anyone's life. and i believe maybe right now, this is one of the bumps i'm encountering with. and so many images of the past flashed in my mind last night. happy, sad, crappy memories, all in my mind. and i do miss all of that kinda shit. and yet now, because of this problem. i'm about to lose it all. and i'm not going to let this happen. everyone has problems and i know some of us aint feeling good about it. i'm lousy in comforting people. i suck in that, blame it on my mother. i dont have the comforting people genes. (:
but still, presenting to some of my sisters who were facing some relationship problems, and whoever who is sad, troubled or super irritated and myself of course :
alright, i know it's ugly. i drew it in paint. what more you expect?! haha.
okay, this post of mine looks like a composition. -.-
and something really random:
a really sweet and cute way of confessing your love:
i wanna be- chris brown dedicate this song. (: sweeeeeeeeeeeeet!
guys, stop with old and boring ways of confessing. i love you, can you be my girlfriend? i really love you. pluck what crap stars and moon for her.
walao. try something new can. -.- YAWNS. hahaha.
;P